Finding purpose...

LowTide

March 10 · 

We didn't intend the rock to soar through my neighbor's window--slight miscalculation (kids!). We were playing and pretending, maybe even aiming in that general direction, but never intended actually to hit anything, much less break a window. We definitely didn't do it on purpose. Nor years later did I dent my husband's truck on purpose. Believe me!

On purpose?

Do you remember doing something that you professed to be an accident? "I didn't do it on purpose."

What does it mean to declare you did or didn't do something on purpose?

"On purpose" alludes to intent. Plain old "purpose" is something different. Purpose brings meaning to life; it gives us something we can sink our teeth into.

Several years ago I heard an acronym that provided advice on growing old. I shared it with my father, who was entering into that camp. I completely forgot about it until I started inching closer to becoming a senior. Miracle of miracles, after many years, I recall the advice. I'm a little fuzzy on what 'C' and 'A' stand for. I'm pretty sure about 'L' and positive about 'P'.

C - Connection
L - how to deal with Loss
A - Activity/Action
P - Purpose

We hear about older workers who remain in their jobs until they are well into their 80's and 90's. It's not for everyone, but those who manage are some of the most vibrant, productive seniors around. According to the acronym, you can optimize your senior years by finding something that brings purpose and meaning to your life. I believe this is good advice for all ages, but it seems to address most pointedly the downward trend we risk as we age if we lose our sense of purpose. As people transition into their senior years, they develop health and well-being issues that too often result in doing less for themselves. Others step in and, over time, do more and more for their aging loved ones. At this point, purpose takes a back seat.

How does the acronym apply to someone living in a nursing home?

▪Connection, check - they can't get away from it even if they want to.
▪Loss, check - dealing with loss is inevitable.
▪Activity, check - it could be better, but they are still breathing, moving, and kicking, so to speak.
▪Purpose, check - with a twist. We think of purpose as doing things that have meaning and fulfill our destiny--pursuing our degree, finding the right job, leaving an imprint on life.

What purpose does someone living in a nursing home have? It's a tough question. Major achievements and breaking personal-best records are things of the past. A point worth remembering: if you let your loved ones do as much as they can, even if imperfect (easier said than done), it gives them purpose.

My 100-year old grandmother-in-law opined that perhaps God had forgotten to take her home. He eventually 'remembered' only after Gretta had left a million impressions on our lives. Simply put, she was fun! Even in old age, even in tough situations. When she was hospitalized with a broken hip, the aids who were wheeling her out of her room into surgery hit a metal trash that resulted in a loud clang. Gretta immediately responded and laughed, "I kicked the bucket!" Her spirited sense of humor during this medical episode gave me confidence she would be fine. Indeed she was for many years to come. She gave her family confidence to face life--with wit and humor.

Purpose in life? Something to sink our teeth into?

I imagine Gretta quipping with a chuckle, "What teeth?"