Easier Said Than Done

Last week, I visited the Anne Frank Museum in Sandy Springs. I left with poignant thoughts and a copy of her diary, which I have been reading this week. I often wonder how people endure. Is it faith and forebearance? Is it stoicism,  tenacity, resilience?

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.” ― Elizabeth Edwards

I had a highschool teacher whose favorite advice was, "Accept it and move on." Although I soon forgot his name, his voice and his advice stuck with me.

Resilience has long intrigued me; although, it often escapes me. While finishing a degree in Human Relations, we were required to do an ethnography.  I chose Sheperd's Spinal Center in Atlanta for my observation. Along the way, I met an spirited young man who was adjusting to quadraplegia. At the same time, I met people who melt down over hang nails.  We all do what we do for a reason.

Another familiar quote to many of us is, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr

Acceptance of things we cannot change seems to be key to moving through--and, if we are fortunate, moving on.

Part of the meaning of acceptance is, "the action of consenting." Is that one of the hurdels--the ability to say, "okay, this is what it is"? You are not expected to love it. In my opinion, you don't have to think it is fair (whatever that may mean). There might be little more you can do other than consent that this is the road you have to travel.

I don't pretend to have answers, nor have I mastered acceptance; I'm often with those who are screaming. And many days I identify with the children's book,  "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."

I trust that you, same as I, know many who have figured out how to accept, not simply a bad day, but life's greatest tragedies. I think of them and they bring me courage.

[Carolyn Fjeran, LowTide explorer/reflective writer; horticulturist & gardener; former writer for Cooperative Extension Service, Master Gardeners, and The Newnan Times-Herald]