IT WAS WHAT IT WAS

July 16, 2016

The response, "It is what it is," often is the reaction when things cannot be changed. We've all had our backs against the wall at some point in life. Reinhold Neibuhr captures the sentiment in the Serenity Poem:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

When faced with something that cannot be changed, what's a girl to do?

In the case of my sweet and sassy cousin LeeAnn, not only was this response expressed when things could not be changed, it was conveniently used when the will to change was absent. LeeAnn was the marrying type, and I should add, quite the catch--blonde, blue-eyed, smart, funny, and accomplished. Her beau was not the marrying type, thus the continued response, "It is what it is."

Because LeeAnn had pursued a master's degree and settled into a career, her biological clock was ticking a bit louder. Family was something she valued and wanted in her future. Some hopefuls literally wait for years on someone who is not meant to be, drifting further and further from their dreams. LeeAnn had wisdom. She knew the difference between what she could and could not change. Once the picture was painted, there were two clear choices: stay the course or follow her heart.

I mentioned LeeAnn is smart, right?

Once LeeAnn made up her mind, out of respect for beau's complete commitment to honesty and their time together, LeeAnn followed his lead. As she made her exit, she explained, "It was what it was!"

I love that girl!

Neibuhr recognized that it takes courage to change. When I think about relationships, educational pursuits, vocations and careers, I wonder how often we play it safe versus taking the risks that come with change. I read this week about a homeless young man who rode his bike six hours and slept in a tent because he wanted to attend college. (http://www.wsbtv.com/…/homeless-teen-bikes-6-hour…/401160413)This morning, I watched a documentary about George Washington Carver who faced and overcame multiple obstacles in his life. He never quit pursuing his dreams.

What Neibuhr didn't mention is that change is inevitable. I think about the political process, our upcoming presidential election, the USA. Change, especially political change, will come. It's a process that is not always easy, not always pretty.

For better or worse, change is inevitable.

In retrospect LeeAnn had it spot on, "It was what it was." She moved on, found the 'right one' and now has three awesome children. Although her 'everafter' is certain to have twists and turns, she did it; she had the courage to change; she happily followed her heart.

[Carolyn Fjeran, LowTide explorer/reflective writer; horticulturist & gardener; former writer for Cooperative Extension Service, Master Gardeners and The Newnan Times Herald]